Boxing Day is not the time to get in the ring and go ten rounds with over-worked salespeople. Here we are -  ready to hit the ground running, ready to nab that coat you wanted all season long for 70% off, ready to exchange that extremely “interesting” gift you found under your tree. You know the one - you were surprised such a thing was available in a store normally stocked with nothing but fabulous. Your husband, aunt, co-worker or crazy friend managed to find it, though. In most shops, exchanges are welcome, but don’t count on it. A gift is a gift, y’all, and if you don’t like yours, it is neither the giver’s fault nor the salesperson’s. This is a no-fault occurrence, so be nice!

Here are the rules:

• You may politely ask in a shop if an exchange might be possible.
• You may not throw a temper tantrum if it turns out the item was not purchased there after all.
• You may not throw a temper tantrum if the item has been heavily discounted. After all, so has everything else, so you still get a pretty even exchange.
• You may not throw a temper tantrum if the store does not accept post-holiday exchanges. It happens. Get over it.
• No one owes you a gift and, out of the kindness of their hearts, they tried to choose what you would like. Keep that in mind.
• You may not confront the gift-giver and ask for a receipt. Seriously, you can’t. There’s no polite, subtle or nice way to do it. So just don’t.
• Don’t expect cash in exchange for your return. It never happens - not in boutiques, not at the mall, not in big box stores. Feel free to ask in an extremely pleasant tone of voice, but when the answer is no, accept it.
• Be very careful about re-gifting. Enough has been written about this already, so the Shop Tart will spare you.
• Remember that human feelings - those of the gift giver, salespeople and your fellow shoppers - are more important than any material thing. Don’t ruin someone else’s nice day by being ugly.

A long time ago, in a mall far away, the Shop Tart worked in a shop. After Christmas, a young woman came in with a sweet pair of flannel pajamas and a matching robe, purchased lovingly for her by her grandmother. The Shop Tart, as per not-unusual-at-all store policy, offered her a store credit. Miss Nasty showed her ass expressed her irritation in a less than charming way. She berated the Shop Tart, who might have cried had she been a weaker woman. Also, she finds it very difficult to be intimidated by someone in skin-tight acid-wash jeans and a tube top. For the record, this look was not popular at the time and hadn’t been for a while, but someone must not have gotten the memo. In fact, the Shop Tart is being kind; that look was never in, now was it? The young woman finished her tantrum with a flourish by screeching,

“WELL I HATE EVERYTHING HERE, SO IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME THE MONEY, IT’S LIKE SHE DIDN’T GIVE ME A GIFT AT ALL!”

Although the Shop Tart was finished with that particular conversation - you can’t negotiate with a terrorist - she might have pointed out that her grandmother did give her a gift, lovingly chosen, even if it didn’t fit her trashy lifestyle. Perhaps Granny was trying to offer a subtle hint that some changes were in order. Hmph. Don’t be Miss Nasty.

So, now that we’ve established the rules, here are a few places to score some deals! Wheeee!

• Today and tomorrow only, Coplon’s has Fall and Winter merchandise marked down 70%. They open at 10 am. See you there!
• Just the Thing is offering 50% off the entire store.
• M Boutique is offering 30% off select Fall and Winter merchandise and 40% off cocktail clothes.
• Gourmet Shop is having a sale on Champagne - stock up for New Year’s!
• Revente is offering 50% off all clothes and shoes and 25% off selected jewelry and accessories.
• Chances are your favorite shop has marked down whatever they have left, so go take a look - just be nice!
• VanJean is closed until January 5th for the holidays, so be patient!
• Holiday merchandise at Burlap is 50% off.
• Simply Savory is closed today, but will re-open tomorrow - the perfect place to have lunch and fuel your shopping jaunts!

Happy Shopping and don’t forget to tell them you read it on the Shop Tart!

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